Right now what mostly absorbs my thoughts is what I want to do with my life, and I'm not really sure. I guess I'm afraid, afraid of being lost like my brother and sister are. My brother has absolutely no clue what he wants to do, and it's been bringing him down for the last few years. I fear that he falls into little bit of depression and doesn't know where to go. I don't want to be lost like he is. It hurts to see him this way. He's a smart guy, he's just totally lost and has no direction. And then there's my sister, who seems like she has more of her life together, but she studied something she only partially liked, finished it because she had already spent so many years of her life on it and now is completely occupied by her job that it's hard to talk to her. She's so anxious and just kind of has a negative sort of energy around her. I feel like she's wound up too tight. She really needs to relax. I miss the sister I used to talk more to during my first two years of college. I've never been that close to my sister cause of the age difference and the fact that she's been away most of my life. I've always admired my sister and looked up to her, to the point that I would imitate her, but I've never been as close to her as I am to my brother.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be lost like they were. I want to know what I want but I'm not sure. And it really scares me.
